It was hell getting Issue 9/11 out. Just horrible! When we were about to hit send, the door to the office was kicked down and immediately some large gentlemen in black came streaming in and put a hood over my head. They drove me around for a while and I ended up where I could only imagine was the Coca-Cola bottling plant where I was tortured for hours on end. I was put in a pitch dark room with shit all over the walls where I laid strapped down to and electrocuted. Followed by a water boarding session in which I think they used this god-awful substance called “Dr. Pepper.” I dunno, it tasted awful. Right before they were gonna break my knees and other extremities, I finally had a breakdown and screamed: “FINE. I DID IT FOR TEH LOLZAH!” After that they dropped me off at the back of the Denny’s across teh university on Central where I scrambled to the nearest computer to send Issue 9/11 to the listserv.
Like always, our best work yet!